July 2009
1 post
“Control the penis. Don’t let the penis control you.”
– Dr. Allen
April 2009
2 posts
“This banana drives a Hummer”
– Dave
“Hmm…I figured that if a medical student wanted to kill someone...”
– Derek (from FB)
March 2009
1 post
“Britt as Gerald: “So, yeah, Dave…how come you’re staying at...”
– Britt/Anna
February 2009
5 posts
“Learning Biochem is a lot like memorizing the phone book.”
– Leo
“If I have to memorize one more enzyme, my brain is going to phosphorylate itself...”
– Dave
“I can juggle bugs. Wanna see??”
– Dave
“If I have to read one more thing about anorexia, *I’m* going to vomit.”
– Bill
“Unfortunately, he died, because everyone has to die someday.”
– Dr. Chedid
January 2009
9 posts
“Stay away from the brains of the dead…Shit, I forgot to tell my kids that.”
– Dr. Sierles
“It’s like a punk-ass corpus-callosum”
– Dr. Sierles
“That’s right… I brought it back to porn.”
– Juliette
“Obama is greater than Fennewald.”
– Megan
“You can never go wrong with a vagina.”
– Anna
“The femur is the deadliest part of the skeletal system.”
– Bill
“It’s like wearing rose-colored glasses with yellow roses.”
– Bill
“Put your latkes where my mouth is.”
– Bill
“I don’t miss grasshopper, because I’ve never had it. If someone...”
– Anna
December 2008
4 posts
“Regarding Sex: “I’m a ninja.”
– Hans
“Regarding her brownies and Rumplemints: “This is like tequila shots for...”
– Megan
Anna: “I’m really good at humping”
Juliette: “Oooh! You should put that on your resume.”
“How come you never look me in the eye when we do the neurological exam?”
– Bill
November 2008
4 posts
“I have EXCELLENT bladder control!”
– Melissa
“The [penicillin] shot really stings, but no one really feels sorry for patients...”
– Dr. Fennewald
“Fornix of the vagina…Isn’t that when you take a wrong turn and miss...”
– Dave
“I want to wave a probe around and shout: “My Eugene! Stay away!”
– Dave
October 2008
14 posts
“Underwear is mandatory for this exercise!”
– Melissa
“Dag nab it! The glenoid fossa has 14 buttholes!”
– Anna - Hypothesizing Manion’s response while grading anatomy practical exam
“The plug doesn’t fit in my surge protector. The third prong is too erect...”
– Jen
“Can you Sharpie a kidney?”
– Melissa
Bill: Why?
Melissa: Because I said so... that's a perfectly valid reason.
Bill: I need a better valid reason.
“Shiga-what?”
– Bill
“Okay… people do not eat fish balls.”
– Martha
“Who are these gunners? We need to lynch them.”
– Abby
“I want to be a Nubbinologist. I’m going to specialize in Nubbinology!”
– Jessica
“Ooh! Haunted butt wipes!”
– Dave
“I’m not an ambi-seducer. I can only seduce in one direction - FORWARD.”
– Bill
“‘Pre-excitation syndrome.’ Is that like foreplay??”
– Britt
“Your pencil is going down my pants, by the way. Don’t...”
– Anna
“You want a chest massage? I’m really good at it!”
– Joe
September 2008
17 posts
“I thought you said eggs and corn, and thought ‘What does that have to do...”
– Susan
“No, it’s okay to be a bad Jew sometimes, but not on Rosh Hashanah and Yom...”
– Melissa
Martha: (reading question) what is the basis of X-linked agammaglobulinemia?
Melissa: Your mom!
Mohammad asks a question about Micro
Brian: I don't know... I'm on drugs
Abby: point #1.. what are you on?... point #2... why aren't you sharing?
“Oh my God…I’m so hot! Your door feels really good!”
– Anna
At the end of a female bimanual exam...
To the standardized patient:
"Okay... I'm going to pull out now..."
-Anonymous male medical student
On a boy with a blood glucose level of 405
Bill: "Do you think he gets a lollipop when he leaves?"
Melissa: "No. He's going to get tofu. And hexokinase.
“Walnuts are God’s gift to nuts. God said “You know, the nut family...”
– Anna
Melissa: "You appear psychiatrically well. I'm going to approach you."
Bill: "Isn't that a pickup line?"
Melissa: "If not, it should be."
Bill: "Talk before touch. Neutral touch first."
“Well, the peeing on the floor is irrelevant.”
– Dr. Sierles