Med Students Say The Dumbest Shit.

Control the penis. Don’t let the penis control you.

This banana drives a Hummer

Hmm…I figured that if a medical student wanted to kill someone they’d use some obscure neurotoxin or pressure point near the carotid… not craigslist, a masseuse, and a gun.

Britt as Gerald: “So, yeah, Dave…how come you’re staying at our apartment tonight?”
Anna as Dave: “Eh…Britt and Anna are having a farting war.

Learning Biochem is a lot like memorizing the phone book.

If I have to memorize one more enzyme, my brain is going to phosphorylate itself into oblivion.

I can juggle bugs. Wanna see??

If I have to read one more thing about anorexia, *I’m* going to vomit.

Unfortunately, he died, because everyone has to die someday.

Stay away from the brains of the dead…Shit, I forgot to tell my kids that.